Monday, August 30, 2010

Did I mention that I am a control freak?

Yes, I like control and I am a perfectionist (not a healthy combination). My house is orderly. I like my closet to by organized by season and color (the boys too). I like food labels to be facing outward (still working on the spice cabinet, it drives me crazy). I am particular with the way I like things to be. I know every square inch of my house, including storage.
I would rather be the organizer of an event than an attender. I like to manage rather than be managed (Jeremy says this is his favorite trait of mine - seriously sarcastic). When packing for vacation, I am in control...I pack everything for everyone and usually pack the car as well.
I like control.

Having children, you obviously loosen that grip on control. This summer I tried to let the boys pick out their own clothes.
Brush their own hair.
Make their own beds.
It took a lot of strength not to make them change, for me to brush their hair and make the beds myself. Some days I did. Some days we had little tutorial on getting ready in the morning.
I not only feel the need to have control but to do things with a bit of perfection. If I cannot do it just the way I like it, then I would rather not do that at all. I have blogged about this before.

I like control. Funny thing is, I am NOT a control freak when it comes to Brayden. Yes, his medical supplies, closet, room are all meticulously organized but when it comes to Brayden, my little boy, I know I have no control.

I can easily hand over control of Brayden to God but everything else, I am white knuckled, holding on tight to it all.

I was sharing this with a friend quite a while ago (shout out to Kim R). What she said to me...well it hit the nail on the head. It was something like this...

It is easy to hand over control of Brayden to God. It is SO big and SO out of our control that there is nothing else to do but hand him over. Everything else we just fake that we have control when God really does. How much easier could things be if we handed everything over to Him?


Debbie said...

so it!

April said...

I can definatly relate :) What a great post!

the deKorne family said...

well, i am not a control freak, or organized, and if you saw my cupboards it might just be over between us...but still SO true about giving it all over. you are such a wonderful example to me! thanks for being so great!

Carrie said...

I am so much the same way, it's crazy. Last week when my oldest started school with a teacher that I just really wasn't sure about I freaked out - because I couldn't fix it, couldn't control it...then I thought about exactly what you said. How can I give control of Toby over, but not the other kids??? But it is a false sense of control..thank you for the reminder - and maybe the similarity has something to do with our name! :)

Courtney said...

wow...thanks...i needed to hear that tonight!