Yes, I like control and I am a perfectionist (not a healthy combination). My house is orderly. I like my closet to by organized by season and color (the boys too). I like food labels to be facing outward (still working on the spice cabinet, it drives me crazy). I am particular with the way I like things to be. I know every square inch of my house, including storage.
I would rather be the organizer of an event than an attender. I like to manage rather than be managed (Jeremy says this is his favorite trait of mine - seriously sarcastic). When packing for vacation, I am in control...I pack everything for everyone and usually pack the car as well.
I like control.
Having children, you obviously loosen that grip on control. This summer I tried to let the boys pick out their own clothes.
Brush their own hair.Make their own beds.
It took a lot of strength not to make them change, for me to brush their hair and make the beds myself. Some days I did. Some days we had little tutorial on getting ready in the morning.
I not only feel the need to have control but to do things with a bit of perfection. If I cannot do it just the way I like it, then I would rather not do that at all. I have blogged about this before.
I like control. Funny thing is, I am NOT a control freak when it comes to Brayden. Yes, his medical supplies, closet, room are all meticulously organized but when it comes to Brayden, my little boy, I know I have no control.
I can easily hand over control of Brayden to God but everything else, I am white knuckled, holding on tight to it all.
I was sharing this with a friend quite a while ago (shout out to Kim R). What she said to me...well it hit the nail on the head...my head. It was something like this...
It is easy to hand over control of Brayden to God. It is SO big and SO out of our control that there is nothing else to do but hand him over. Everything else we just fake that we have control when God really does. How much easier could things be if we handed everything over to Him?