I was reading a fiction book this week about a mom with two boys; one with special needs and the older brother. The mom promised the older brother a night out for Chinese food but their plans were derailed because the special needs brother had a major episode. After the mom helped her son through his "episode", she came downstairs to find that a cereal bowl was in the sink...no Chinese food, he had cereal.
While that might not seem like a big deal. To me it is. Brayden's needs tend to be our first priority, he needs everything. Carter and Luke are certainly understanding about it all.
Last night was Carter's first tackle football practice. Jeremy is coaching Luke's team, on a nearby field. I was home with Brayden because it was too hot and past his bedtime. Carter was at his practice by himself. We thought he would do just fine.
That is not what happened. Carter told the coach he was feeling sick. Carter ended up sitting out for the majority of his first practice, after a while he was laying down on the sideline (completely out of character for him). Another mom tended to him and walked him to Jeremy's field.
Was Carter nervous for his first practice, bothered that his parents were not there or really sick? Either way, I was not there for him. Jeremy brought the boys home. Carter was visibly upset, I took his temperature and it came up about 101.5 degrees. He was not feeling well.
Jeremy and I felt terrible that we were not there for him when he needed us. I know that it is just a little thing and he may soon forget. But there are so many little things where Brayden ends up being the priority. My heart hurt last night, I love my boys oh so much and never want them to feel alone or second tier.
I will be at Carter's practices and Brayden will make do.
Carter (and Luke) can have Chinese food, instead of cereal. I will be there for him.