Sunday is our family day. Jeremy wakes early in the morning, makes a big breakfast. We then head to church for the morning. After church we go for lunch with Jeremy's parents (the boys like to see their grandparents). Come home and relax for the afternoon. Jeremy then takes Carter and Luke back into the church for a children's program.
This is our Sunday routine.
Brayden is not a fan. We are not sure why.
Our church moved into a new building at the end of the summer. Since that time, I have made it into the sanctuary to hear the sermon 2 times (we are there every weekend). The moment we get in the car and start heading to church, Brayden starts fussing. By the time we arrive at church he is screaming. Once Brayden kicks it into "that" gear, there is little that we can do to calm him. He has been doing this EVERY Sunday, since August (except once or twice).
We do not leave church, Carter and Luke are having a good time. Jeremy and I both volunteer in different programs. We just keep assuming that Brayden will adjust.
Church is a relatively quiet place...not a place for a screaming toddler. Many a Sundays you could find Jeremy or I pacing the halls, pushing Brayden around in his wheelchair. Or bouncing him in our lap, praying that he would calm down or just go to sleep. Or you may see us sitting in the car with him while church is going on. Or you might see him in the car, windows rolled down and me sitting on the bench nearby (sitting in the car with a screaming child is torture).
Yes, Brayden has his moments on other days, it just seems to heightened on Sunday.
It has been frustrating. I have felt on the verge of tears or screaming several times. I feel terrible for Brayden, not knowing how to help him...also trying not to disrupt Carter and Luke either.
I must admit that I almost flipped out on an innocent mom a few weeks ago. She politely told me that serving in the Children's ministry once a month was just too much for her, that she rather be in the service with her husband. Missing church once a month was just too hard for them.
In my head I was screaming, REALLY?! You are complaining about once a month and that is serving to help in YOUR child's room!
Outwardly, I tried my best to be kind, after all she did not know my situation and I did not want to take out my frustration on her. I told her we would figure something out that worked for her family...while I think I was grinding my teeth trying to be kind.
Determined not to alter our Sunday as a family, we continue to go to church, praying that Brayden will adjust. Today, my father-in-law graciously sat with Brayden, paced the halls and held him, while Jeremy and I could sit and listen to the service together...it was nice. I have now made it 3x to hear the sermon.
4 comments:
Sorry about the labs (previous post)...that literally STINKS!
As for church, this would be so draining! I think Sundays and church are draining as it is when you have a special needs child....we always go to church, but it seriously wears me out with Gavin. But, thankfully he is quite well-behaved in church. I seriously don't know how you do it! I'll be praying about this for you and your family.
Since this all started after the move to the new church, could it be that the acoustics are different there and the noises are messing with him neurologically? Gavin really loses it when he hears certain noises and, like Brayden, once he gets started he just keeps on crying and screaming....it's like he doesn't know how to turn off the crying once it starts.
Hang in there Momma! I really admire that this doesn't stop you from going each Sunday! Hugs!!!
You are an amazing mother, with lots of strength and determination, for keeping up with the Sunday routine.
I can't tell you how comforting it was to read this blog. Tim & I haven't been to church in months. It seems it's more of a hassle then help to make it to church for us. Tim & I too have paced the halls, sat in the car or just left because it's too much. Ethan cries and cries most days! It's so hard... and YOU know all about it!! Thank you for posting from your heart!
I have to give you credit for continuing to go. I think I would give up and stay home. That must be so difficult! I too, wondered if there was something about the noise in the new building that was causing Brayden to react negatively. I know there is really no way for you to know. Praying that Brayden gets used to the routine soon so you can enjoy more services together.
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