Friday, July 9, 2010

To have excitement

My middle boy, Luke, is about to lose his first tooth. He has been waiting for this moment for many months. He so desperately wants to be a big boy. When we realized yesterday that his tooth was loose, he declared that he needed to call his friends and family to tell them. I told him to wait until the tooth came out and we could send pictures. All night he wiggled the tooth. His excitement for this big moment in his world is so fun and precious. I so love watching it.

Before I settled into bed last night, I checked on Brayden. I starting thinking about Luke's excitement and how much I want that for Brayden. He shows NO excitement. We say he likes something if he is relaxed and content. He does not smile, laugh, squeal because he is excited or happy. Yes he does smile (what seems like only a couple of times a month) but not for real reason, at least apparent to us. Once a doctor told me that he could have "smiling" seizures but I ignored that and still think he is smiling for some reason.

I want Brayden to experience excitement and joy. Selfishly I want to see it, I want to know when he does.

When the time comes for Brayden to lose his first tooth, I will be praying for him not to swallow it and choke on it.

3 comments:

littleharves said...

congratulations to little luke i hope the tooth fairy comes for him. i was told the same thing about seizures for harveys smiles but i too refused to even listen to them. i also knew when harvey was happy simply because he was relaxed. we know though that this is an amazing state for our boys to be in and indeed they are very happy inside. i did some research on the 12 cranial nerves and learnt that cranial nerve number 7 controlled facial expressions, as harveys pons was small, none of the messages were getting through from the brain along the cranial nerves. it made me feel much better about harveys emotional state. i know he experienced emotions and i now know it was just that the messages to move the face weren't working. it didn't make it any easier though but it meant he was an emotional being and that was so important as i am sure you know xxx anne

The VW's said...

Our 3rd son is in the process of losing his 1st tooth too....he is quite excited about it as well!

I can relate to the worries of having your child swallow a tooth. I had the same thought about Gavin when our son's tooth started to become loose. It's crazy how such a "normal" thing can make you sad and worried!

I am so sorry that Brayden is not able to show you that he is excited or happy! I remember going through a year of this with Gavin and it was very sad for me, as his Momma! Once Gavin's seizures were mostly under control and he was off of some of the more sedating seizure meds, this made a huge difference for him! I pray that Brayden will be able to come out of this someday soon too! I seriously feel for you....that year was a depressing one for me!

Congrats to Luke on his loose tooth! Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!

Debbie said...

I know I have told you before, but Hudson is much like Brayden...no giggles, no signs of joy...contmentment through body language is our tell tale sign.

Anyways, when you mentioned "smile seizures" I didn't know such a seizure existed, except for that is the only time we see Hudson smile...I call them the "happy seizure"...it is more like a second quick spasm that draws a big giant smile on H's face afterwards...sucks that it is seziure related!

I never thought about the tooth saga for H...I guess those "normal" things don't cross my mind with him AND I only consider today, I have a hard time projecting into the future with mito.

Sorry so long...just I read your thoughts and feelings and feel like we go through some of the same emotional stuff.

Have a great weekend...and have fun with the loose tooth!