Thursday, June 26, 2008

Delightfully Oblivious

I love to watch my children sleep. Their sweet little faces, not a care in the world. It takes all my strength not to hug and kiss them in that moment. I would not really try that for fear that they would wake and not go back to sleep so I sneak a little kiss and adjust their covers. They are completely oblivious to the troubles of life. Of course, they have their worries; will I have to take a nap, will I have dessert tonight, did I get the same number of crackers that my brother had…

I am pretty sure that Brayden is oblivious to his struggles. He is such a content child (if he was not then I would be even more of a mental case). Brayden tags along to anywhere I go, seeming to enjoy his KidKart. He usually fusses being put in the car but quickly gets settled and is along for the ride. Not seeing, walking or talking, things that he does not know are even missing. He is delightfully oblivious.

I must say that I am oblivious about some things related to Brayden; things that I am content being oblivious to. I mentioned before that I have been reading the book Aidan’s Way. The father who describes his life with a son that is similar to Brayden. Several points in the book I was just shocked. The father describes conversations that he had with doctors; I have heard many of the same comments but one doctor’s comment was very unsettling for me. Their family was meeting with another neurologist. This new doctor seemed knowledgeable but no compassion. He actually suggested to the family that institutionalization might be a good option. What?! People still do that?! This incident seemed to take place about 15 years ago, in the 1990s not the 1940s. Their child was still a baby. I realize that for some people institutionalization might need to be done but saying that to a parent holding their little child is just lacking in compassion. Later in the book, the father is discussing his son’s condition with a colleague. This colleague said that is might be better if the boy died. That’s right, the man said it. Can you imagine the insensitivity?

After reading comments like those, I am happy that I am oblivious to what some people may be thinking. Sure, sometimes we get the occasional stare but I think because they are jealous they do not have such a cool set of wheels (a.k.a. KidKart). We may get the occasional “poor things…” and the popular comment is about Brayden looking sleepy as I carry his toddler body with two hands and he is just hanging there. Aidan's Way mentioned a similar incident:
People would approach us, attracted by our beautiful baby boy… “Oh, he’s so cute. Is he sleepy?” How could we answer? If we said, “No, he’s snowed by powerful anticonvulsant drugs,” What would that do to the moment?… Instead we would lie, conceal the difficult truth, keep up appearances: “Yes, he’s sleepy.” I tend to say, "He might be sleepy. It is nice to be little and sleep whenever you feel like it."

People looking or asking questions are completely oblivious to what is going on with our child. I am happy being delightfully oblivious to what they might actually be thinking. Brayden is delightfully oblivious, just content having us love him.

And yes, I did take those pictures while they were sleeping. I just could not resist. They had no idea until I showed them this morning.

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