I mentioned that I was reading through old blog posts and emails, I realized I wrote a lot about expectations, things that were happening that I did not expect.
Here are some. I am sure that you can relate to at least a few of them.
- I never expected to have a child with severe disabilities
- I never expected to know this many doctors or hospitals so well
- I never expected to have medical equipment as part of my home and daily life
- I expected all of my children to talk, walk, hug, (eat, not by tube), etc.
- I never expected to hurt this deeply
- I expected myself to be a mom that could handle it all...I cannot
- I expected to be there always for all of my children...Carter and Luke sometimes get lost in the chaos of things, even though they are understanding about it all
- I expected my child to be able to cuddle...Brayden did not until 21 months
- I expected to go on many vacations as a family...that left stress at home
- I expected doctors to have answers and not be the one making major medical decisions for my child
- I never expected to need this much help. I was a social work major in college, the idea of helping others and I am the one getting help from every direction.
- I never expected asking for help would be so hard
- I expected certain people in our lives to help (I learned that my expectations for them were apparently too high)
- I expected my neighbors to be snobs (sorry gals) but thankfully I was seriously wrong
- I expected Jeremy to feel the same as me, after all we are in this together. However things that bothered him, did not bother me. And things that bothered me did not bother him. Which turns out to be good because then we could support each other
- I expected to know how to pray (I will have to blog about this one later)
- I expected prayers to be answered...at least to find an end to the vomiting
I could go on and on. Clearly this is not what I expected my life to be.
Thankfully God surpasses all of our expectations and I am learning that a little more each day.
Have I let go of my expectations? I wish I could say yes but I am trying...