The mom searched high and low for therapies, treatments and doctors that would help her son. She spends hours upon hours doing therapy with him each day. The father would come home from work several times a day to help with the therapies. They traveled many miles to try new therapies or remedies. She puts forth every effort to help her son. Even the book cover says, "every waking moment". It does help, he is able to talk some, walk with assistance amongst some other great accomplishments.
Sounds great, right? As first read it might be but this mom lost so many things. She lost herself, her husband, job, friends, any outside relationships...she was in this world just she and her son working on making him the best he could possibly be.
The book was meant to be uplifting about overcoming those big challenges but to me I found it kind of sad. Sure the little boy exceeded many expectations but a what cost?
I am sure that if you asked this mom she would say she would do anything no matter what the cost.
To me, there has to be some balance.I have struggled with this. There are times that I wonder how much we could be doing. Would therapy everyday help? Should we try different therapies? Do we search out other doctors or alternative medicines? Brayden is the youngest of three. I cannot devote my every waking moment to him alone. But what if I could? Would that make a difference?
6 comments:
I couldn't agree with you more. You have more than just Brayden on your plate. You have to tend to the well-being of everyone. Just do the best with the time you have. You're doing a great job! Of course, you know my favorite word is 'balance' so I might be biased. :)
Finding a balance can be so hard! Try not to put pressure on yourself! (I know from experience, this is easier said than done!) Remember that you are only one person and you are needed by many! Love and Hugs!!!
Your boys are going to grow up having a Mom and Dad who loved them and took great care of them. All 3 of them...what a sad tale if they ever felt overshadowed. You do such a great job! And, as a pregnant person, I still love talking to you...and reading what you write. :) Good insight!
I struggle with the same thoughts...
Hudson is my third too...
some days I know I don't do enough...because there is dinner to make, a house to clean, laundry to do, homework, baths...oh, the list goes on and on...and guilt sets in...because my third child is so complacent, not demanding, and only wants love.
Then of course the worry...am I giving the other 2 enough...time, energy, patience...cuz all the medical stuff is so overwhelming and time consuming and draining.
I also know that as my son continues to have catastrophic seizures, his ability to gain any new skills is nearly impossible, especially because his seizures are solely *energy* related.
You are not alone...I am right there with you...
You are so right! Balance is key. I can see how easy it is to get off balance, especially with a child with special needs. One thing that I think of when I think about balance - it will probably look different for each of us. It is very easy to get into a habit of comparing our lives to others. What works for them, may not work for us and that is OK. We just have to do what we know is right for our child and our family.
your dilemma is exactly the reason i choose to read the twilight saga instead of a book about being a mom, parenting a child with special needs, etc. i feel like we all need to give ourselves a break. most of us really are doing the best we can, given the circumstances! and carrie - you are an inspiration that has taught me how to do just that!
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