We have been married 10 years!
For all of the lovey dovey stuff and pictures check out the family blog. This blog is going to be a bit more real.
Has ten years been easy?
Absolutely not. Marriage is work. I would say that our first year was hard...just figuring things out. Once we figured things out, we got in a grove. Then we had kids, the grove changed and we adjusted. Jeremy worked. I stayed home with the kids. Activities on the weekends. The beach in the summer. Things were working...smooth sailing. We were happy.
Then came Brayden. I have never been so emotionally exhausted in my entire life. Brayden's life hit us like a freight train that we never saw coming. We have been trying to find the grove for the past two years. Having the extreme stress surrounding Brayden and his needs/schedule inevitably trickles (or pours) into other parts of our lives. A day at the hospital and we are grouchy, tired and short with everyone. When Brayden was being diagnosed with so many things, we felt defeated. It was hard to talk about; hard to continue with "normal" life. All of your emotions and effort put towards Brayden. And to Carter and Luke. What was left? Not much. Over the past two years, I have cried more than I have in my entire life. Cried so hard, I could barely breathe. And the stress, stress in ways I never experienced before. I lay in bed in silence for hours so exhausted that I could not sleep. Our lives felt turned upside down. How could this not effect our marriage?
Shortly after Brayden was born, they discovered his brain was abnormal. Because of this the doctors look for other midline defects and many of Brayden's organs needed to be checked. We were in and out of hospital waiting rooms. I tried to read the magazines or watch TV but when the stress is there, focus is not. However I will never forget when we were waiting for Brayden's renal test. Good Morning America had a segment about families with special needs children. Some families and experts were interviewed. The experts all agreed that the divorce rate for families with special needs children is over 80%.
I am sitting there thinking...What? 80%! That is not what I wanted to hear right now! It certainly doesn't give me the warm fuzzies. That doesn't sound too promising.
I realize this post is not sounding too uplifting about our marriage but stick with me...
The past couple of years have been hard. Harder than I could have imagined. I can say that today, we are stronger than we have ever been. We love each more.
I was speaking with some one recently about her struggling marriage and she was considering leaving her husband. All I could think was that you have to fight. Fight for you marriage, fight for your spouse, fight side by side against whatever trials come, fight for the children...Yes we fight with each other and the fighting can get ugly. However, I need Jeremy to be there, to face life, fight for our family and marriage. We are a team.
I heard a quote recently that makes me think of this fight. When the high seas are raging it is no time change ships. Dr. Leon Morris talking about 1 Corinthians 7.
When the fighting gets tough do we want to jump ship?
How do we make it through the fighting? We have love. Love for each other and our family. We have faith. The Lord is our rock and strength. Faith that He has a plan for us. The Lord planned for our family to be this way and we have to hand it over to him (a daily task). We are much more than happy these days, I feel joyful and am completely content.
I love Jeremy. I love him as a husband, father, provider, leader...I am so thankful for our ten years; for all the things that have brought us to this point and looking forward to the all that is ahead.