Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Help

Have you read the book?  Seen the movie?  I have.

The way those women treated their help was appalling.  I cannot fathom treating people like that (just because of skin color), let alone someone you are entrusting the care of your children to.  Can you imagine speaking to someone like that?  Then have them turn around to care for your children?  Whether you read the book or watched the movie, it is very clear there is a special bond between the help and the child, despite the chaos around them.

I have to admit that I never thought I would have help.  I have help with the cleaning...we love our Ms. Alma and her ladies.  Sometimes I even have help with the groceries...thank you Peapod delivery and Harris Teeter pick-up.  But having help with Brayden, is the most important and the most difficult.

Having a nurse to help with Brayden has certainly been life changing for me.  It is a relief to have help.  But making it comfortable is when it becomes difficult.  I am asking someone to take care of my baby.  One of my most precious things ever, and I am asking someone else to take care of him.

Yes, the nurse is there to do a job but taking care of my child is so much more than a job.  I do not think that yelling, belittling or just not treating the nurse unkindly will help.  I feel like the more comfortable the nurse is in our home, the better a job they will do for us.

Brayden cannot tell me how he likes the nurse.  I just have to watch him and see how he reacts.  There are so many little quirks to Brayden.  Fake cries, strange looking seizures that may not look like a seizure to start, where to place his toys, where to touch him, how to get him comfortable, etc.  All takes time...getting to know Brayden.

A nurse is with us for 40 hours a week.  That is A LOT of time.  Of course we have to set up boundaries but the nurse becomes a part of our daily life, a way that we function as a family.  It is a big deal.  I have to be comfortable too.  The nurse is around my other two boys as well, several hours a day.

There a lot of factors that go into good or even great nursing care.  This person is in my home, taking care of my baby.

How do we find a balance between demanding the job be done well and integrating them into our family?

*In case you are wondering, the new nurse is working out great.  Brayden's has shown her his seizures, vomits, tube came out and she replaced it, big diaper blow-outs,...she handled it all with flying colors.

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