Friday, March 20, 2009

Try to Understand

I was flipping through a magazine this past week. I have not really been reading books lately, it takes too much mental effort that I am not up for right now. So instead I flip through magazines. I love reading the question and answer sections.

In this particular magazine, I noticed a question that kind of made my blood boil a bit. It was entitled Pet Peeve. Someone wrote in about screaming kids. She was very bothered by screaming kids while she was shopping. This women wondered if she was right to approach a mom of a screaming kid and say something about it.

Seriously! WHAT?!

Any mom knows that your child screaming in the store is not an enjoyable experience but it happens and it happens to the best parents. And if someone approached me at the store about getting my screaming child under they really think that would help my situation?!

Try to understand. Please.

So this leads me up to my adventure in Walmart. Brayden was in his KidKart and I was pushing him around loading up his wheelchair with the things I needed (borderline tipping it because I loaded it down with too much stuff). Several times in the store I came across a little old lady who was riding around in a store scooter. Oh she was not nice, she was taking out anyone who was remotely in her way and exchanging not kind words. I did my best to avoid her. Well guess what happened...I ended up in line with her. I did my best not to make eye contact or do anything to provoke her. I could feel her looking at me and then Brayden.

I am thinking, please do not pick on Brayden. That will bring out my mother bear side.

She grabbed Brayden's hand and proceeded to scold me about taking care of my child. Brayden's hands were purple. The women gave me a quick but harsh lecture about keeping my child warm and if I was a responsible parent then he would be warm enough. We can't have a baby with cold hands!

I was flustered and did not say anything. Which is probably a good thing because what would have come out...well not good.

Depending on the day, Brayden's hands and feet are purple or glowing red. He does not have the best body temperature control. He hands may be purple but it happens without reason. Or his hands may be red from his body overcompensating to keep warm. This just happens. I am not an irresponsible parent who allows my child to be cold.

There was no way for this woman to understand.

A day later I had the privilege of joining two moms for dinner (Brayden tagged along and doesn't mind because he is a ladies man). These moms are wonderful. Both have children with special needs and very serious medical conditions. They are so understanding and have such bright spirits. They are able to laugh at the situations and cry. Being a mom to a child with huge medical issues is not an easy task. It was a wonderful evening. We talked about sending our little ones to school (I need some encouragement for that), insurance frustrations, funny stories, struggles, diapers, doctors, cheesecake...

It was nice to be understood. Understood by Laura and Shannon.


Leah said...

i understand completely. sometimes on my way up the hill to the grocery store, i prepare my mother bear speech so that i can have it ready if someone tries to butt in! and little old ladies do seem to be the biggest sulprits. but usually, when the times comes, i just smile and push him away. oiy. i do wish other people would try harder to understand!

Michelle said...

Don't even give those crazy people a second thought, because they either A. Can't remember what it was like to have small children....or B. Don't have kids, because any parent with small children will only empathize with you and tell you I feel your pain.