Not sleeping

This is not really about Brayden's sleeping habits. He has always been a good sleeper. A good night sleep makes everything easier for us to handle. This is about the most common comment we get about Brayden...

With a smile,"Ahh, he is sleeping."

I heard a version of this three times today from three different moms in the same building.

My middle child, Luke, goes to preschool Tues - Thurs. Brayden and I drop Luke off and pick him up each time. Luke climbs out of the car carrying his backpack. I carry Brayden. Getting out his KidKart and assembling it, is too much effort just to run into preschool so I carry him.

Brayden is not the easiest child to carry. He offers no help, in fact some days he provides resistance. He cannot hold his body or his head so I attempt to cradle him in both my arms. He is 19 months old and growing thus he is a heavy awkward load. A load I love to carry but still awkward.

I have been carrying him in and out of preschool this year and last. I see the same moms every day of preschool.

This morning I am walking into the school, Brayden breaks into a seizure. His seizures lately have a new look. Jeremy calls it the iron cross (think arms and legs fully extended and stiff). I kneel to the ground and stay still until his seizure passes. Standing over me a mom says "Everytime I see him, he is sleeping!" My reply, "I wish he was sleeping but not today." I looked down at Brayden, his eyes are wide open, clearly not asleep.

We walk to Luke's class, another mom with the same comment. I just smile.

Then come time to pick up Luke. The halls outside the classroom are full with excited mommies and children, loading up their backpacks and saying goodbyes. I am holding Brayden while talking with another mom. Again, another comment. "Wow, he sure sleeps a lot!" Again, his eyes are wide open and not asleep. I had no comment.

I do not find it hurtful, in anyway, for someone to say that. But at some point I feel like they are fishing for an answer. Brayden is clearly not sleeping. He is clearly a toddler that is not sitting on his mommy's hip or running beside.

I just ask that they ask. I have no problem answering.

He is not sleeping.

For now I "just smile and wave." - penguin from Madagascar movie (thanks Cara).