Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Definition of Chaos

Chaos - A condition or place of great disorder or confusion.

I think today fit the definition of chaos.

Today is my oldest son's birthday. Carter turned 6 today and selected waffles for his birthday breakfast. I made the boys breakfast and felt like the morning was running smoothly. I walked into Brayden's room and found that he had vomited blood. The last time he did this, he ended up with all inclusive stay at the Children's Hospital for several days. Immediately, the house exploded with energy and me shouting commands, trying to get things in order.

"Carter, bring me the phone." - I called Jeremy and then called a couple of doctors, waited to hear back from them.

"Carter and Luke get dressed." - I called a friend to pick up Luke to transport him to preschool. After I hung up the phone, a neighbor called (completely unaware of what was happening). She asked if Carter could come over for the morning to play with her son, a huge answer to prayer. Both the boys were taken care of this morning.

"Boys be quiet." - The phone rang, it was the doctor. I held my breath and answered the phone. Sigh of relief; Brayden did not have to go to the hospital. He did need to see the doctor for some tests.

"Boys, grab your things. It is time to go." - Carter headed to the neighbor, Luke was picked up and Brayden was ready to head to the doctor's office.

My mind was in a state of chaos. I was trying to make sure the boys had everything they needed for the day and into the evening, just in case. I was trying to figure out what plan of action was best for Brayden. I did not know if I should give Brayden his medications, or feed him, or what to feed him. So many things to keep straight in that moment and still think ahead. I would walk into a room and forget why I was even in there.

We all left the house. Beds were not made, dirty dishes in the sink (and they are still there),...House in chaos.

I like order, chaos is not my friend.

Brayden and I finally arrived at the doctor's office. He had vomited a bit too much the past couple of days and caused some bleeding. It heals quickly and the remainder of the day he was doing fine. We are adding more medications and adjusting his feedings. After months of this, the only answer still seems to be that his vomiting issues are not a GI problem but more of a neurological issue, his basic functions including digestion are not working properly. Brayden has been tested, scoped and medicated with no real evidence to point to the root of the problem. Days of chaos may still be ahead, we pray that they will not happen but I am not holding my breath.

I would prefer our days to be the definition of order not chaos but Brayden likes to keep us on our toes.

1 comment:

Ms. Beane said...

Is there any way you can link B's diagnoses to further explanations of each diagnosis? I am really interested but do not understand all the terms.

May you find peace even in chaos.