Selfish

There are days when I just want to be selfish. I know how selfish that sounds but I am having one of those moments.

Brayden is slowing starting is feel better but not able to keep any real food down. He tube feedings have been Pedialyte. Yesterday he was still vomiting after nursing or having formula. Thankfully, yesterday brought only a few small seizures. Brayden being sick did not come at a good time for me. In a couple of days, we are leaving for the beach. We are nervous about going with him still being sick (hopefully he will be better before we leave). In case, he is not able to keep any nutrition down, we must go to the hospital. A hospital trip is not too bad around here; we have several options of places that can handle a special needs child. At the beach, the hospital choices are what you see is what you get. Selfishly, I am thinking that Brayden better get better quickly. I do not want this vacation messed up. I am not been on vacation in about a year. I have not left the house for more than a few hours in about a year.

Tonight is one of my favorite events. Every year the White House hosts a congressional picnic on the White House lawn. Members of Congress and the Presidential cabinet members are invited. We tag along with my parents (my dad is the EPA Administrator). It is an amazing time, something out of an old Hollywood movie. The lawn is breath taking. There are interesting people all around (including the President and First Lady), delicious food and fun for the family. It is my absolutely favorite thing I have ever been to with my parents. This is the last year that we will be able to go since the President’s term is done. I desperately want to go but Brayden is still not feeling well. We also have no power because of a large storm that passed through yesterday afternoon (check the family blog about the storm). If it was socially acceptable, I would kick my feet and have a temper tantrum about going. I feel selfish.

On top of all of that, today is our 9th wedding anniversary. Selfishly, I want someone to come to the house take care of my children so Jeremy and I can disappear into DC for a few hours. I realize that this is not going to happen so inside I am pouting like a little child.

I know being selfish is not a very attractive trait but I am having one of those moments. When my boys wake up, I know that today will be about being selfless and taking care of them (which I love).