Take care of yourself, they will be fine

Some words from Jeremy to me.

Carter and Luke have become obsessed with skiing in the past few weeks.  Their first time was mid-February and since then, they have hit the slopes 10 times, have season passes for next year and their own gear (so do Jeremy and I).  They both learned to ski right way and keep pushing themselves to ski better and on harder slopes.

I have been trying to keep up.  Only skied once back in college
and now several times with the boys (gone with them when we have someone to stay home with Brayden).  I have been skiing pretty well, trying to get my balance and handle it.

But I have had a couple of big spills, getting off the ski lift.  Both times I was so focused on the boys; making sure they got off okay.  Then realized I was delayed in getting up...which then leads to a big spill, the lift stops, etc.  The biggest spill was on the four person lift.  All four of us getting off, I was so focused on Luke that I did not stand up in time, I tried to hop off quickly but my spill took out the entire family and a new ski pole.

When we finally made it down the mountain, Jeremy told me sometimes "You just need to take care of yourself and the boys will be fine".  I was so focused on them and not myself, that the result was not helping them but hurting them.

I think as a mom, and even more so as a mom of 3 and one is special needs, you focus on everyone else's needs.  You think about yourself last.  That is just the way it is, it is just what you do as a mom.  The vast majority of time that works just fine.  But then you realize when you are off, then it makes the whole house off.  The good 'ol, if Mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy.

As the mom, you set the tone of the house.  If I do not take care of myself, am I really helping or hurting my family?  If all of my focus is on them, does it really help them?

Taking care of myself is easier said than done.  There never seems to be enough hours in the day, there is always some need to be met; so without much thought, everyone else comes first.  I automatically become focused on the boys that I don't even realize I am not taking care of myself.

With Brayden in school more this year (and less doctors), I am trying to make time to take care of myself.  Joined a Bible Study (tried a few times in the past without much success in being able to go consistently), trying to workout again (tried Yoga for the first time), making times with friends and making time with Jeremy.  Little bits of time here and there throughout the week.

I will let you know how it goes...I am trying, really trying for first time in years.  Trying to take care of myself, knowing the boys will be fine.