Tough

Brayden is tough. His little life is tough. Watching him go through all of this is tough.

After another scope, this time by an ENT doctor, we still do not have answers. We were hoping the scope would possibly show where the bleeding was coming from. It is great that the vomiting has not done damage to the throat area but we are still left with no answers. Maybe this time around the GI doctor will have some.

We came home from the hospital and I sat down to email an update but I found an email from my brother-in-law (I hope he does not mind me sharing).

We read this devotional this morning and I immediately thought of your situation with Brayden and how it relates to this devotional. We have experienced this same type of thing while waiting for an answer with Anna’s health problems...It is hard to NOT focus on WHAT we are waiting for, but HOW we are waiting. We are praying with you that the Lord reveals an answer to you through the doctors as to why Brayden keeps vomiting. We also hope that we find an answer as to why Anna can’t get rid of her sinus infections/bronchitis when she gets it. I know I personally find myself focused on the answer more than what he is trying to teach us while we wait.

It was a devotional from Our Daily Bread, that happened to be for that day. Click here to read.

A tough day and I needed some guidance, a little pick me up.

I read the email and the devotional. It applies to exactly where I am and it is tough. So, I read the devotional a few times, sat back and thought.

My reply to his email and the devotional:

Thank you for passing this on...

Waiting is hard. Suffering is hard. Waiting while your child is suffering is even harder. Patiently waiting feels impossible some days. Patience is not really a word I would use to describe myself (or Jeremy). It is difficult to be still and patient when you feel like your world is constantly moving, ever changing and throwing you curve balls.

I just assume that the Lord will take care of things. My problem is assuming the timing and/or the outcome, then I get impatient. I tend to put my nose down and plow through things, glancing up to the Lord. Then realize I need to look to him constantly not just glance once in awhile or look toward out of frustration/desperation.

As my (friend) says; take in the journey not just focus on the destination. Although I feel like our journey is filled with speed bumps, flat tires, broken engines...

Still just waiting and trying to wait patiently, not with my own strength but His.
Thank you for sharing,
Carrie

Brayden is tough. I am getting tougher just by waiting and learning to wait patiently.