Quiet moments

Some one asked me the other day if all of this was hard. I must admit that for the most part it is not that hard. I definitely have days when I feel like I cannot take all of the appointments, medications, therapies, etc anymore. We love Brayden. As a parent you do what you have to do and quickly adjust. Having seizures, going to the hospital, riding in ambulances are all stressful situations but I can get through those. I get in to a mode of doing what we need to do, not a time for panic, worry or tears. It is the quiet moments that are the hardest; watching him sleep, sitting silently in his room, he is so helpless. It becomes a moment to breath and take in what is really happening. The past few days have definitely been on the top ten list for Brayden’s adventures. The hardest time has been driving home alone, without my baby. Jeremy is staying with him (I am a little nervous about staying during this hospital stay…a story for another time). I get home, my older boys are with family, Jeremy and Brayden are still at the hospital. The house is quiet and still. It is not a quiet and still when I can rest. I pace the house, read magazines, watch TV, blog but I cannot rest in this silence. The quiet times are the hardest.